Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. ‭‭-Ephesians‬ ‭5:17‬ (NLT)

Impulsivity, as I’ve learned, is not a hallmark characteristic of a true believer. Flying off the handle, and letting words fly that should never have been uttered, leave marks on the souls of those around us…and in ourselves.

OODA: Observe, Orient, Decide, Act

A United States Air Force Colonel and military strategist, John Boyd, developed a decision cycle known as the OODA loop, or Boyd loop. OODA is an acronym for:

• Observe
• Orient
• Decide
• Act

OODA has been applied to many areas of thought and strategy, and it can likewise help true believers act in meaningful, God-honoring ways.

Hotheads skip the observation, orientation, and decision parts of the loop, and just act. Obviously, that can be disastrous, especially in interpersonal relationships, and especially if we’re trying to make Him known through how we live and act.

Be intentional

In his letter to the believers in Galatia, Paul explains that self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit. To have it means biting our tongues when we want to lash out, or even to tell someone off, when maybe neither will do anything in the big picture but leave things worse off than they were before.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. -Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)

So, when faced with our own flesh’s impulsive nature, or that of those around us, we can apply OODA:

• Observe with discernment what is actually happening, minus the tinting of emotional distortion
• Orient your mind with the Holy Spirit, listening to what God would have you do, in a way that will honor Him
• Decide, prayerfully, on the God-honoring course of action
• Act intentionally, as a conduit for His love

When we let Him move through us, and act to His glory, there are no regrets as we interact with others.

May my words and my thoughts be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my sheltering rock and my redeemer. -Psalm 19:14 (NET)

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. -James 1:19 (NLT)

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. -Proverbs 16:24 (NIV)

In the 1980s, there was this public service announcement video that played on TV in the U.S., about verbal abuse to children. It talked about “words that hit harder than a fist,” like telling a child “I wish you were never born.”

Indeed, words are powerful. God invented them. His Word is the perfect and inerrant use of them, as a matter of fact!

For us, we are stewards of the lives He has given us, and in our lives, we are stewards of the very words that come from our mouths. And before a word ever leaves our lips, we have thoughts that form in our heads.

We may not choose the thoughts that pop in our heads, but we can choose what we do with them…especially ones the Spirit has let us know do not honor the Lord. Do we choose to direct our thoughts to higher and better things? Do we toy with them and let them linger, like playing with a flame?

If we choose the latter, we’ve watered and planted that dark seed….and it could produce terrible fruit in the words we choose to let loose and give life in the air. Harsh words can cut, bruise, and maim worse than any physical weapon, because they wound the deepest…right to the soul.

So when a person or situation takes you by surprise, take time out to consider what you might otherwise reflexively lash out with in response. Consider the very gift and power of words that the Lord has given you. I leave you with a verse from Paul to the Christians in Ephesus:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. -Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

Let us bless others with the very words God has given us the privilege to speak, so He will be made known. Let us have a blessed day and help make it one for others as well, fellow agent!

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. -Romans 12:14,19 (NIV)

Oh, the temptation to “right” someone else when you feel wronged! It can dominate you in the blink of an eye…if you let it.

“I can’t let that slide!” you think. And in the heat of the moment, you know you’re right. And you know the other person needs to be put in their place.

But before you reactively respond to someone else’s words or actions, stop and remember who you’re representing. You are God’s hands and feet. You are His ambassador. And He is present and affected as you choose your actions and words.

Fire, meet water

Escalation of a situation often happens when contributors keep adding fuel to the fire. So instead of throwing kindling on the fire, soothe and counter it with water. And try as it may, fire cannot set water aflame!

The verse above is part of larger exhortation from Paul to the Romans at the end of the twelfth chapter, which goes on to say:

On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. -Romans 12:20-21 (NIV)

It’s your choice

So, the next time you’re thrown a jab or a barb…the next time someone cuts you off in traffic…the next time your name is trampled in front of others…choose to not fan the flame. Choose to be the serene river where the fire must meet and retreat.

Be water, my friend…cool, refreshing, and replenishing. God has plenty more to flow down to you…so much, you’ll be overflowing. You’d be surprised how quickly the heat will dissipate without you adding to it!

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. -Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV)

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. -Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

We all face difficult people in our lives. Sometimes, they’re the ones closest to us, and that makes it even harder, because we’re so open and vulnerable to them in trust.

We are flesh. And there are days we’re down, and sometimes just beaten down. People and circumstances will wear and wear on us. We feel so, so wronged. Sometimes, that will even affect how we view ourselves…and this is where the enemy gets to have his fun, and tell you lies about your worth and value. But the truth is, you are fearfully and wonderfully made in His image, and are redeemed! This truth means that you can be victorious in all circumstances, because your identity in Christ never changes!

Though it’s perfectly normal to lick our wounds after dealing with difficult people, it’s important to then pray for them. They know not what they’re doing. For their sake, and for all those who also must come into contact with them, pray for Him to soften their hearts, and open their eyes with perspective and wisdom.

Then, don’t forget to pray for Him to take any resentment or pains or burdens from you as well. Walking victoriously means running the race light, because you have cast your cares on Him…and by doing so, you can focus always on Him. And by doing that, you will experience His peace, even in the face of difficult people.

God forgave us for all our sins: past, present, and future. He’s seen them all, and Jesus’ blood covers them all. So, we are called to forgive others as He has forgiven us.

This excellent John Piper Ministries devotional explains it far better than I can:

So we hold on to anger, and play the story over and over again with the feelings: It shouldn’t have happened; it shouldn’t have happened; it was wrong; it was wrong. How can he be so happy now when I am so miserable? It is so wrong. It is so wrong!

[…]

It means, when you lay down the burden of vengeance, God will pick it up.

This is not a subtle way of getting revenge. This is a way of giving vengeance to the one to whom it belongs.

Read the whole devotional »

Today’s soundtrack

“Losing” by Tenth Avenue North is like our cries to God put in song, when we feel like no one else cares or sees the injustice, and when we need His grace to flow through us so we can forgive.