Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. -Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)

Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! -Matthew 7:9-11 (NIV)

In a recent post, I discussed the difficult spot of being a lone believer who is traditionally obligated to participate in a pagan ceremony. I had to have what I expected would be a hard discussion with my Buddhist mother about this, regarding my father’s funeral ceremony…but God leveled the mountains into plains.

The next trial would be standing as the lone Christ follower in a service full of nonbelievers. Some would judge that the oldest son, traditionally expected to take a prominent role in the proceedings, was a failure, reflecting on his parents and family.

Though there is pressure to just cave and go with the Buddhist flow here because someone has passed, I had to ask myself: What example am I setting for my son? If I took part in the ceremony, what am I demonstrating to him in worshiping the one true God?

As a parent, we raise our kids by example. And when we are consistent in our convictions in front of our kids and even when they’re not around, we strengthen their moral pillars, as well as ours. If we’re inconsistent, we show that what we believe is not really so defined, and is instead open to flexible interpretation as needed by a given situation.

Think about your situation: would you think it acceptable for your kids to be in it? It’s different when you think about yourself. If my son were in that spot, what would I advise him to do? I can demonstrate it and walk the walk.

That goes not just for the lessons I’m learning here (standing firm in convictions, having hard conversations), but in other aspects of life as well. If I don’t want my son to repeat a cycle of abusive relationships, I shouldn’t demonstrate to him that being abusive, or receiving abuse, is okay. I should show him how to stand up to unjust, God-dishonoring behavior with just, God-honoring responses and actions.

As much as we love our kids, God loves all of us–His children–even more. He gave up His Son for us. Are we not to stick to our guns for Him, as Jesus did for us?

But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?” -Genesis 3:9 (NIV)

And the Lord will deliver me from every evil work and preserve me for His heavenly kingdom. To Him be glory forever and ever. Amen” -‭‭II Timothy‬ ‭4:18‬ ‭(NKJV)

We all bring emotional scars and baggage into our relationships, and end up hurting one another, often without realizing it.

What God does, though, is expose that…cast a burning spotlight on the sin, so that we may face it.

And He will ask you, as He asked Adam: “Where are you?”

It’s not that God doesn’t know where you are. He wants you to speak (confess) and own up to where you are in your walk, and turn (repent) when you’ve strayed from His intended path for you. As always, God will forgive you, and He makes your way straight again.

But what if you, or the other person, won’t (or can’t, due to lack of awareness) stop hurting others? What can God do for you then?

Nowhere in the bible is abuse condoned or approved. It can be as obvious and concrete as physical abuse, or emotional and mental abuse, which leave no physical marks or evidence.

God doesn’t just deliver His children from this world, but also from every evil work done to His children in this world, to preserve us for His kingdom. So while we may still suffer and endure for a period, God also calls us to see and discern between godly and ungodly suffering, and to stay or move/act in faith when His Spirit speaks to us.

An enlightening and eye-opening article by Dr. Tim Clinton, president of the American Association of Christian Counselors, talks about ways to know if what you have is true, Godly love, or something shallower and of the flesh:

1. True Love Seeks to Love as Jesus Loves
2. True Love Is Wise and Strong
3. True Love Stands against Evil
4. True Love Is Rooted in God’s Love
5. True Love Will Not Fail

Read more about each of these points in his article, “How To Know If What You Have Is True Love.”

God can work healing wonders in us and our relationships, and part of how He works is through us. So we are not to simply sit back and suffer–or inflict suffering–and expect things to get better. No.

God has cast His convicting light on our sin. We honor Him in following His model of love for us, thus glorifying Him every healing step along the way.

“What can we say to my lord?” Judah replied. “What can we say? How can we prove our innocence? God has uncovered your servants’ guilt. We are now my lord’s slaves—we ourselves and the one who was found to have the cup.” -Genesis 44:16 (NIV)

When God puts the spotlight on your sins, whether directly or through others, what will you do?

In our last installment, Joseph dined with his brothers in his home, and sent them all off the next morning with as much grain as they could carry…and their money in their bags again. But, Joseph also instructed his steward to plant his silver cup in Benjamin’s sack, and then go overtake his brothers en route home to “discover” the cup!

Joseph’s brothers were understandably indignant when the steward stopped them on the road to confront them about the allegedly stolen cup. They invited the steward to check, and even said the brother found guilty should die, and the rest put into slavery. The steward was more gentle, and said that the guilty one would be made a slave, and the rest would be blameless.

And to their disbelief, it was Benjamin’s sack that contained the vizier’s cup! The brothers were all stupefied and very upset. They packed up their donkeys and headed back to Joseph, who asked them how they could do such a thing. He said the rest of them could go home, but told them he would keep Benjamin as his slave…the one brother Jacob would not want that to happen to!

Judah offered himself in Benjamin’s stead, explaining that when they went back to their father the last time, Jacob grieved that he might lose his only remaining son from his wife Rachel, and that Judah promised him that would not happen…because Jacob said it would literally be the death of him to lose both of his beloved sons!

So here it is, the unbelievable burden of sin: the brothers have been holding on to the guilt and concealment of their sin of selling Joseph into slavery for some 20 years, and continue to lie about it to their father and to Joseph. Can you imagine the weight of it?

Judah pleads with Joseph to keep him instead of Benjamin, to not bring more misery to his father, who already laments over having lost Joseph!

In this moment, can you imagine Joseph’s heart when he’s hearing this?

When God’s searing light is on your sin, confess it all to Him. Stop carrying it in your own strength. Your guilt over the past will do nothing to change it, and only burdens you in your walk. If we are to honor the Lord in our walk, we need to exchange our sin burdens for Jesus’ easy yoke and light burden.

And watch what happens next, when God’s grace meets your sin!

Peace be with you, do not be afraid. Your God and the God of your father has given you treasure in your sacks; I had your money. -Genesis 43:23 (NKJV)

In our last installment, Joseph’s brothers were sent by Jacob/Israel to Egypt to buy grain, since the famine had begun. The brothers didn’t recognize Joseph, but he recognized them. And over the next three chapters (Genesis 42-44), he puts them through the wringer!

The tables are turned

Knowing who they are, Joseph accuses his brothers of being spies, but they protest, saying they are honest sons of one man, though the youngest is not with them, and one brother was no longer with them. Can you imagine how this would sound to your ears if you were Joseph? At one point, he had to turn away and weep.

Joseph throws them in jail for three days, then releases them, demanding that they bring the youngest of their brothers back to him. They have to leave one brother behind, however, so Joseph keeps Simeon in Egypt. Per Joseph’s order, the brothers are sent back with the grain they came to buy, but they don’t realize till they’re headed home that Joseph had put their money back in their sacks as well! When they see the money, they panic and despair:

So he [one of the brothers] said to his brothers, “My money has been restored, and there it is, in my sack!” Then their hearts failed them and they were afraid, saying to one another, “What is this God has done to us?” -Genesis 42:28 (NKJV)

The brothers go back and tell their father what happens, and Jacob is not happy. After some convincing by Reuben and Judah, Jacob allows Benjamin to go back with them to Egypt to get more grain. Jacob also has them bring the best fruits they have–and double money–as a present to this man in Egypt, in the hopes Jacob won’t lose two more sons.

Upon seeing Benjamin with his brothers, Joseph has the steward of the house take the men to his home to dine with them. You can imagine the fear in his brothers’ hearts, to be taken to his house! They were sure they would be assumed thieves because of the money still in their sacks, but the steward assured them they were fine.

So, Joseph learns from his brothers that his father is alive and well. (The brothers must be wondering why he’s asking about their father?) And upon seeing young Benjamin, Joseph is overwhelmed and temporarily steps away to weep, because he and Benjamin are both sons of Rachel, unlike his half-brothers.

So, they all dine at separate tables (Egyptians wouldn’t be caught dead eating with Hebrews), with Benjamin getting five times as much food as anyone else!

Joseph sends all of his brothers home, with as much food as they can carry, their money in their sacks…and Joseph’s own silver cup in Benjamin’s sack. Why? Find out in the next installment!

Conviction and grace

It’s often said that Joseph is a Jesus figure, and we can see how: God casts light onto our sins and we are convicted, and must face them. The brothers have shouldered the burden of their sin for about 20 years now, and with it brought to light, they despair.

But, like Jesus, Joseph supplies them their need, which they cannot buy with money. That is how God’s grace works! And it only gets better. Stay tuned for the next installment!

Today’s soundtrack

Sidewalk Prophets’ “Change This Heart” asks God to take on the burdens of guilt we’ve brought on ourselves, and with His grace, heal our hearts and take it away.

Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. -Mark 16:15 (NIV)

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. -1 Corinthians 13:1 (NIV)

New and baby believers are fired up, ready to conquer the world in God’s name. Many seasoned believers have also kept their fire stoked, not letting circumstances douse their flames.

And that’s all well and good. Who doesn’t want to do their all to make the Lord known?

There’s a truth that must be faced first, though: even before we conquer the world, or our country, city, or even household…we have to ask God to help conquer ourselves. We surrender ourselves so the Lord can deal with us.

I ask God in prayer, throughout the day and night, for guidance and vision to better see my situation in myself and in my circumstances. And He is good! He does just that. The Holy Spirit continues to convict and nudge me so I can zig when I would otherwise zag.

And when the Spirit subtly (or sometimes not so subtly) tell me what I need to correct, do I heed, repent, and follow, or do I ignore it and continue in unrepentance?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. -Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV)

In short, I have to continually straighten up my walk–an ongoing process–before going out to help others with theirs. (It’s when I stop thinking my walk has problems that I stumble.) That doesn’t mean that my walk has to be perfect, because only One walked in perfection. But my walk needs to show the fruit of the Spirit.

Prayer

Father God,

Thank You for all of Your gifts and blessings! Thank You for being patient with me and the sins I carry. Please mold me and work with me as You will…to carry out Your will…so with every thought, word, and deed, I glorify You. Purify and prepare me so I can enter the mission field and be Your hands and feet in the world, and that people will see You when they see me!

In Jesus’ holy and powerful name I pray.

Amen.

Today’s soundtrack

Tim Timmons’ “Starts With Me” helps us revitalize and re-center by getting back to our knees instead of standing tall in our own pride, and starting the change in ourselves.