Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. -Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)
But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD. -Joshua 24:15 (NIV)
Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. -Psalm 127:3 (NIV)
When it comes to having children in marriage, you’ll hopefully discuss the matter at length with your spouse to be. You might even discuss it with close friends. But most importantly, discuss it with the Lord!
Let’s say you and/or your spouse have the idea of two or three kids. But situations and times change.
Some point to the story of Onan–who purposely spilled his seed to prevent pregnancy–as the argument against contraception. But the sin in his story was his selfish intent: to not honor his dead brother (and his widowed wife) with a child. If your intent is not selfish, but in the interest of the family’s well-being (maybe there is an unhealthy and/or abusive climate), that’s a different story altogether. Pray for God to give you discernment for your intent to or not to have children…is the intent yours, or His?
Even with birth control and contraception–or even abstinence–if God wants your family to have children, He will make it so. Likewise, He can also deny you children no matter how badly you want them.
Most importantly, devote yourselves to prayer to find His way and plans for you. Find out whether what you hope to achieve serves Him, or you.
So, rather than push your own agenda or plans, choose God’s plans. Pray together to him, discuss, and align yourself and your family with His plans. Let go and surrender to His plans for your life.
Ultimately, we let God determine the size of our families, and whether we have children. He can close or open wombs, and give life where there seems to be chance for none–look at Sarah!
And through it all, He will accomplish His plans for your family and your life. Look to Him for guidance, as you do in all things, and He will inerrantly guide you, as He has guided His people since the beginning.